(the 2010 me, definitely not the 1/1/11 me. smile)
I have to blog. How could I not when it is 1/1/11. How cool is that? Well, that and I haven't blogged in so long. I am ashamed (said like the crab in "Finding Nemo"). It is very unlike me, but like I told Dave tonight, "my brain feels like scrambled eggs." and that isn't a good thing. This might be what the start of a psychotic break feels like. I'm not sure, but I know that something must be done. Luckily it is 1/1/11, and anything is possible, right?
What has been running through my head over and over is the phrase "wisdom and order", "wisdom and order", "wisdom and order". "Unfailingly kind" has been with replaced with "wisdom and order." Are you starting to feel it? Say it with me, "wisdom and order." Obviously God is trying to tell me something. Luckily, I was asked yesterday to teach this Sunday in church (see, I have a good attitude. I'm just a panic attack waiting to happen. ha ha). So what do you think came to me to speak on? You guessed it....."wisdom and order." I need to use a talk from conference and President Uchtdorf's talk entitled "Of Things That Matter Most" was just perfect. In fact it uses the phrases "wisdom and order" quite frequently. So, if no one else is there tomorrow, it won't matter, because selfishly this lesson is for me. Although, if an apostle of the Lord spoke about it at conference, I am guessing that there is a few others that might be feeling what I am feeling. smile.
The summary at the beginning of his talk is this...
If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you
to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus
on what matters most.
(i can just hear him saying this with his cute German accent, can't you?)
This talk made making my my new year's resolutions so very easy. I just outlined what he said were the most important things in the order of importance that he gave, and than scheduled them on my planner. There, I am proceeding with wisdom and order. Putting the things that matter most first. I highly recommend this. Now it is just having the discipline to implement it.
On Friday night as Dave and I sat at the kitchen table (me with my head and arms draped all over the table and crying), I vented all of my frustrations at my inability to live my life the way that i want. aka, do everything that i need and want to do without anxiety, stress, irritability, pms etc. I know what I need to do to not feel crazy. I have to eat well (not too much sugar), exercise, and get adequate rest. which with the holidays was not really happening. I was just mad that I have to live so regimented to feel good. "That is no fun!!!!", i lamented. To which my dear husband replied in all of his wisdom and order, "and this is fun?" Drat that man. He had me again.
So, do you want to see my list? If you don't just skip this. It is for my posterity's sake. My posterity needs to know that at least I tried. That I was goal oriented, but more importantly, I want them to know what matters most.
1.personal prayer, scripture study, and keeping the commandments everyday (work on one that you want to improve)
2.family dinner, family home evenings on Monday night, family prayer and scripture every night. Attend church every Sunday, and temple monthly. Have a planning mtg. with Dave every Sunday, weekly date night, and give each other ideas of special things that we could do for each other that week.
3. Schedule the time to do all of my callings at church, including visiting teaching. Pray to have the Holy Ghost every day, and to listen for the impressions that will come of who to help and how. etc.
4. exercise, take my oils and vitamins everyday, and then a list of things I would like to do that aren't essential but the highest priority for me on the extra list, like actually printing up my pictures and getting them in an album (it has been at least five years! yikes.) Continuing to blog is on there too. It is my way to keep in contact with family, and voice what i think to whoever cares to listen. It's very therapeutic. (thanks for listening. smile)
5. oh yah, and I have to do the whole early to bed early to rise thing to make this all happen. You know the saying, it will make me healthy, wealthy, and wise. and who doesn't want to be those three things. ha. In fact, if I can just do this one, the rest will be easy. This is the killer for me!!!
So that is it. I scheduled all of these first. I was feeling overwhelmed at my morning routine, so I assigned each child to be in charge of breakfast and making lunches one day. Then, I am Saturday and Dave is Sunday breakfast. So the most important things are scheduled and if that is all that gets done then fine. Of course there are the kids things and appts., laundry, groceries, blah, blah, blah, but the things that I need to get done to feel peace and joy in this life are done first. I think doing these things are the best traditions that I can give my kids. When we put more emphasis on other activities and let these slide, we are teaching our children that they are more important.
For instance, all of the kids were doing their toe touches, kicks, split leaps, in turn. We all comment on everyone's. When it comes to Leah, we all can't help but laugh out loud. Bless her heart, these things just don't come naturally to her. She was getting all upset. I just flat out told her, "Leah, this isn't your talent. Who cares!" She lamented that if she can't do this how is she going to provide for her family if her husband dies. Which brought on another roar of laughter from us all. I told her that Heavenly Father isn't really looking for more people that can do a great toe touch. That isn't what He cares about the most. He cares about whether she has a testimony and faith. He needs more people who have faith, and will help him to help others, and she is great at that. That is the best talent to have.
I think what we place the emphasis on with our time, money, praise, etc. is what our kids will think is most important. In fact, I don't just think that, I know that.
O.K. I'm done. I feel better. I feel more disciplined already just having it all scheduled out. I didn't appreciate Jacob's knowing smile when I excitedly explained it all. I know what that smile meant. It's January......how long will this last. I'll show him! ha. If not there is always 1/1/12. smile.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
8 comments:
you'll do it. it won't be perfect, nothing ever is, but when it isn't just remember that tomorrow is a new day to recommit to these beautifully intended and heaven inspired intentions. love to you!!!
loved this update. i was laughing so hard out loud at the leah part. i love leah.
That made me laugh and cry- I can totally relate to Leah. Kelly and I were just talking about that.
Thanks for the inspiration, Heather- I needed to "hear" all of this.
so glad you're back!!!!!!! i missed you!!!! happy new year to you too!!
xoxo
Thanks so much for this post. It is almost exactly what I have been feeling lately. So upset at myself for not doing EVERYTHING perfectly all the time (who does?). Like you I am starting with the basics and hopefully everything else will fall into place.
This was our lesson in Relief Society a few weeks back. I love this talk. It is inspiring, so when you feel a little down or not quite motivated, just read it again...even just some of it and it will encourage you all over again:) smile 'as you say'.
You can totally do theses goals!!!
Love you!
Jenn
how come your resolutions are exactly the same as mine? why do you always write exactly what i am feeling but you say it so much better than i ever could? i love you bunches and hope that you last longer than jacob thinks you will! and really, you guys need to be nicer to leah. she is awesome!
laugh out loud funny. "And this is fun?" I think Mike is thinking that ALL the time!!!! As I cry and complain and pout that my life isn't fun and that he doesn't recognize and fulfill all my needs...ohhh, I am so glad that I have sisters out there, who totally understand! :) love and miss you!
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