Thursday, September 15, 2011

Marriage is hard.

(just a little humor for you. you're laughing a little too hard dave. it isn't that funny.)

Plain and simple marriage is hard. I came to grips with that reality long ago. But oh the heart break when soon after marriage I discovered this devastating fact. I naively thought that I would have marital bliss 24/7. I mean, I saw my parents have problems, but that was my parents. They have problems right? It was so disappointing to humbly realize that we are all imperfect, and that this life is one of growth and Heavenly father has so kindly given us the means to that growth. But oh the long hours of sobbing in the shower before i bravely faced this truth. That marriage is not for the weak or the non committed. Why do we have to do this???? Just like parenthood, it comes to us so sweetly at times the answer. In those moments where we get a glimpse of celestial love and harmony in both our marital union and our parental role. No it isn't 24/7, but it happens often enough (if you are working at it) the moments that give us hope. That there is more to come. More of that joy that you maybe for only a small moment experienced, but was so heavenly that it rocked your world, and gave you a buzz for days. If it has been a while since you have felt that.....let's look to Marge Hinkley for some words of wisdom. (you know she is my favorite, and it has been a while right?)

The family is eternal. Love must be
nurtured. It must be spoken. We must
put away our pride, our haughtiness,
our shyness, our misunderstandings,
and with humility say, "I love you. Is
there something I can do to help you?"
You can never be completely happy
under any other circumstances.

If you have been married for any amount of time at all, you know the utter truth of this statement. But easier said then done, right? it seems so beautifully simple. But when it comes to those relationships (family) that we cherish the most, it can be so painful to be humble, to
forgive etc. I don't know why. I think because we feel the hurt so much more acutely.

Anyway, this has just been on my mind. Could it be because I have been feeling some growing pains lately? Yes indeed. But how sweet the outcome always is.

How grateful I am that i have had sisters that i can turn to for strength, wisdom, humor, and guidance in all of the trials of life (and yes, we all have husbands. smile). Know that you are not alone. We all are on this same journey towards our betterment. It just isn't always fun. But what thing of great worth is gained with little effort i ask you?

Gotta go. Today is Leah's 11th birthday party and of course, as always, she is so stressed and worried that it won't turn out how she has imagined. Which means all the pressure is on me! I have to come up with some cool scavenger hunt for her and her friends to do, and I haven't even started it. (i don't know why she worries?! ha) Happy Friday my friends.


Courtney said...

I love your blog you always know just what to say:) Miss having your wisdom first hand! And that picture and quote are hysterical!!!

Anonymous said...

great post!!!! i should be cleaning and getting ready for my day but i always have to check on your blog to get my day started. marriage hasn't been that hard for's the children part that has done me in! :) happy birthday leah!!!!! xoxo

ali said...

I love this post! I remember a very hard time in my marriage where I thought I had to get a divorce because my husband drove me crazy on a regular basis. Now I know that is normal, and I can get through it and focus on the things I love about him ;) It's so true that you have to actually be loving-- I used to think that it just happened like breathing, but no-- it requires effort after so many years of marriage. But I think the more you love the easier it comes.

miss you and your cute family!