Thursday, July 8, 2010

so sad

I feel sick to my stomach and i am really trying to not cry like a baby. The movers are here. I don't have words. I am at the last second throwing on the "to be packed" pile sentimental items that don't weigh much. Mostly pictures. I feel so sad. I did laugh when I looked closely at this picture above and written on the box is "scale". They packed our scale that we had sitting by out things in order to weigh them. Too funny. It is pretty heavy too. I hope it doesn't put us over the weight limit. ha.
At least, I can rest assured that our few items are in safe hands. I mean, they must be experienced, look at the condition of this "thing that I can't remember the name of" above. ha

I have been counting down the days left that I had to sleep in my bed. I love my bed. Have I ever mentioned that it is the first thing that I usually say in my prayers every night,"thank you for my cozy bed." Seriously, I appreciate it that much. I told dave that I was going to lay on it until they pack it. But then, I got caught up in a frantic rush of what precious item am i forgetting to bring. Because let's face it, I have a feeling that I won't see anything for 5 years, at least. You see, we plan on going to Europe after Korea. So, as dave watched the tears roll down my cheeks (and tried not to laugh at me) as I watched them pack, he said, "why don't you go and lay on your bed?" So I did, and I let the tears rolled down my face unashamed, and read my scriptures. And thought about all the things I should be doing instead of feeling sad, like going around and passing out books of mormon to everyone I see ( i have a pile on my shelf for just that purpose). Or asking them if they know the purpose of life, and giving them a card with the web address that has the answer to that question and many others. You see, when I move that is usually my biggest worry. Whether I have shared the restored gospel of Jesus Christ with everyone that I could have here. It's like this was a city that I served in on my mission. And to be honest, it is if you look at the bigger picture. My life mission. Unfortunately, the answer to my question is no. I didn't do all that I could. But I tried. I hope that I have done some good. That I have blessed some people's lives for the better. That I have helped someone on their way. That I have eased a burden or two. It is just never as much as I hoped it would be. You always think you have more time, you know. More time to follow that one prompting that you have ever so often, to call "so and so", or to write a note to someone you have had on your mind. To invite a special family over for dinner. To invite a friend to church with me. How does time past so fast, and how can i squeeze in all that I missed in the next few weeks?
So, if you are reading this and you have thought of some of the promptings that you have had, don't put it off. Get to it. Learn from my mistakes. I have to make peace, as always, that I did the best I could. Yes, it could have been more, but it keeps me humble right? I have a lot to keep me humble. But that is another post. ha.
They have taken my bed now, time to move on and get back to the work of life, and the joy of life. But, I think I need a pedicure before I get real serious. ha ha. Have a great day my dear friends.

P.S. This was left at my house from Kami's baby shower. Anyone? Claim it soon, or it may be in my huge garage sale that I plan on having August 13th. More on that later as well.


Teri said...

awe dont be wanted this right?? its gonna be amazing!! a wonderful experience right?! and believe me you have left your mark on all of our hearts!! we will miss you so!!!

sarawhat said...

Heather I'm excited for your new adventure! But it must be so sad to leave your home. Not fun. Seriously, if you need contact info for my friend who is stationed in Korea just let me know! Our number one request for our next assignment is Aviano...two years from now. Maybe we'll see you there??

Dahlene said...

You are such a great woman Heather! I'm going to miss you and I haven't seen you in about 4 years. I do love keeping in touch via blogging. Please keep that up. Give away a ton of Book of Mormons and you will be happy wherever you go. Keep us posted.