this is how i look on the inside.

My output is like everyone else, but this is what i am working with.

I am pretty sure I could short circuit at any time. ha.

At least, that is how i feel right now.

I'll sort it all out tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

(I took this picture in a back alley In Seoul near by the temple)

Does this concern anyone else?

It is this mentality that is messing everything up!

Just do what feels good, not what is right. I am not talking about coca cola, but the fact that this is used as an advertising campaign says something. It is the same campaign that every one is using these days. It concerns me. Especially when doing the things that feel good often cloud our thinking even more. And then where are we?

That reminds me of something that happened years ago. Jacob and Rachel were little and I was biking in Tahoe with my dad around his neighborhood. Jacob and Rachel were in a bike trailer. Tahoe is notorious for not obeying the California leash law. Everyone lets their dogs run free around the neighborhood. It really is scary sometimes. This particular occasion we were casually riding and one such gentleman had his two huge dogs outside unleashed. He was out with them enjoying a beer. As we passed, these dogs started chasing my bike and were close and were scaring the kids to death (and me). These weren't friendly little dogs. They didn't stop when their owner called them either. My Dad was so mad he circled back and said something to the man whose only reply was, "Relax, have a beer." I thought to myself, "what, then we won't care either about putting people in danger with our dogs, or care if my children or injured." What kind of comment is that to make in such a situation? How about I'm sorry.

Anyway, i am just concerned. When we decide that how we feel is more important than doing what is right, or how it will affect others.....let me just say, it never leads to happiness. No matter how big or how small the situation.

there's my deep thought for the day. was that too heavy?

Just call me Heavy Heather (except for you grant, you will enjoy that one too much. ok that goes for anyone in my family. you already have too many names for me)

PS. I really am trying too on this. Dave and I usually go on a trip just us this time every year. I do feel the need, but I am really trying to do what is right and get out of debt first. Aren't I so good? ha ha. Oh, but hawaii and that tropical breeze is such a tempting siren.

i know not one of you feel sorry for me. i am way too blessed. which is true. I don't need no stinkin' hawaii. I'll just go and eat an oreo. (until next year that is.wink)

this made me laugh so hard

Dave asleep......

clutching his handheld electronic yatzee.

(a stocking stuffer courtesy of the santa, via the thrift store)

ps-good thing dave doesn't blog. There would be a picture of me asleep

with my mouth wide open tomorrow. ha ha

lunch box love

they have the coolest lunch boxes here. Rebecca wanted a korean lunch box real bad. Leah drew her name for Christmas and picked this one out for her. She loves it. She was so excited to pack up her cute little cubicles, and had to show me. You're invited to the viewing too. smile.

Even cuter than the lunch box. waaaaaay cuter.

She always reminds me of you nicole when she excitedly tells me about something.

love it.

homemade mandu soup.....yummmmmm

Jihyun (on the right) went home (north of Seoul) for Lunar New Year. Lunar New Year is the biggest holiday for Koreans. It is celebrated for three days with family and traditional food. The kids especially love it because it is kind of like Christmas. The children (until they are married) make a deep traditional bow to their elders and wish them many blessings in the coming new Year. They are richly rewarded with money. Jihyun's kids had the goal of making 60,000 won. I am happy to report that things went better than hoped and Jason came home with a whopping 120,000 (about $110).

Jihyun returned home with a lot of homemade mandu made by her mother. She very graciously asked everyone to her house for mandu soup and fried mandu and

korean pancake ( pajeon).

It was delicious!

And always fun to talk with friends. happy lunar new year to us!

I should have tried a deep traditional bow to jihyun. ha ha

our big night in seoul

Late friday afternoon from our hotel window. Holy apartments batman.

When we first got there, I see Leah huddled on the window sill writing something.
Found this on the desk later. Leah is my little poet. I find pieces of paper of her thoughts written in poetic form all the time. love it.

waiting for the concert to begin, which was only about 2 minutes for me. Getting to the concert was quite crazy. We just hope that our taxi driver knows where to take us. After the concert was over, we looked at each other and realized....we have no idea how we are getting back to the hotel. Lots of adventures on this trip.

the concert was great and went by so fast. It was way smaller than I thought it would be. Very intimate feeling.

Taylor actually came out into the audience and sang a couple of songs. Look how close she is to us.

She really is so beautiful, and so talented. She plays sings and i don't know what else (name that movie?) Really though, her voice is flawless.

The center screen was so amazing it looked 3D but not weird. There were always really cool backgrounds going.

this picture doesn't do her outfit or the background justice. It was so beautiful.

Saying goodbye.

the concert was only half the fun. The hotel was connected to a train station, bus terminal, a dept. store, many malls, restaurants etc. It was crazy and confusing. Here is rebecca in one of the little cutsie stores they have everywhere.

The girls running when the saw a krispy kreme donut!! I was hot on their trail.

We actually have krispy kreme's on base, but not hot and now like these! YUM

I loved this little mini escalator that was next to the big one.

so cute. (this is just some random guy in front of me)

oh and the stair is cute not the guy. smile.

I need to go back and have some of this.

The hotel had a health club in it with a million amazing things. Like indoor golf stuff, massage chairs, squash, pools, korean saunas, but this picture was my favorite from the gym. There were so many cute older ladies hanging out and working out together. Doesn't this look fun? The girl hanging upside down suspended by her ankles did not look fun. I really wanted to take a picture, but was in a hurry. There was the normal gym equipment then all kinds of other fun unusual stuff. Another reason I need to go back. Take dave, and go to the breakfast buffet. The kids just wanted mcdonalds.

Anyway, the trip felt a bit rushed, and the girls were kind of cranky in my opinion, but they haven't stopped talking about it since, so I guess they had a great time. I told Leah that she wasn't allowed to say the word "JW Marriot" again though. They just thought that was the end all be all to be in that fancy hotel. She and Lizzie keep saying how that is the first time they have ever slept in a bed in a hotel. They are always on the floor. Too funny. So they finally get a bed and it is a korean bed, which means it was hard. I couldn't believe it. I mean it was soft by korean standards. So there you have it!

Hope you had a great valentines day. Here the girls give the boys flowers and candy. Next month on March 14th i think, is white day and the boys then give to the girls. On a day in April is Black day and all the single girls get together and eat black noodles. At least that is what my single friend who lives in Seoul told me. Did you know there are tons of people here that come and teach english in the korean schools? They have to have native english speakers as teachers, and they don't have to speak korean. they are paid really well, and given an apt. to live in. It is a really cool experience. It would be a little to scary for me i think to do on my own. These girls are so brave in my opinion.

It's late and i am rambling. Hopefully I will be able to post soon. For some reason, blogger hasn't been wanting to come up on my computer. annoying.

Guess where the girls and I are going tonight!

We are so excited!!!! This is the first time that Taylor Swift is performing in Korea. The concert is in the gymnastics stadium at Olympic Park in Seoul. We are going down early with friends and playing in Seoul and staying at the JW Marriot (thank you membership rewards points). And thank you Grandma Judy. The girls had to pay for half of their ticket and they used their Christmas money from Dave's mom.

the last concert that I attended was Michael Jackson's victory tour at dodger stadium when I was in high school. I don't know if Taylor can top that. The only other concert that I went to (also in high school) was the Madonna concert at Anaheim Stadium. Too funny.

what is your favorite concert that you have ever been to?

BEST COMMERCIAL EVER!

Rachel and Jacob were just commiserating together how they have tried for so many years to move things using the force. I can't wait to show them this commercial. You know we are late at seeing things around here since we don't have tv.

You know what is real sad. I just learned last week that dave's car can do this. We have had it for 3 YEARS!!! How lame is that. I'm not known for my technical abilities and dave is certainly not known for his communication skills. ha ha.

P.S.-Glor, this could be Landon. His little hands move just the same.

PPS- I think I need me some star wars. I think it is time to start training young ammon in the ways of the force.

Luxury on steroids

Remember I told you that I went to the most amazing hotel for my 40th birthday. Here it is. I dreaded blogging about it because I knew there would be a million pictures. There are just short of a million, so enjoy. smile. Really, I could be a spokeswoman for this hotel. It is called the banyan tree resort and spa. I was pretty tightly wound after a couple months of stress from the move, and being separated from dave for a month. This was just what the doctor ordered. My doctor always insists on accompanying me. I think that might have something to do with why i get such good prescriptions.

Luckily, he is really fun to be with!

So let me start describing this amazing place. It had just opened a couple of months before, so there was barely anyone there, and they were double staffed because they were in training. We felt like we were a king and queen in our palace with all of our own personal servants. Sometimes it felt kind of eerie and a bit over the top. But we got used to it. We are flexible that way. smile.

They really just remodeled a previous hotel called the tower hotel, because it is overlooking the city and right next to the Seoul tower (pictured above in our room window). We had the cheapest room you could get and it was unbelievable. You have to go look at the website to see the biggest room, it is beyond amazing. I was happy with our humble room. ha ha, more than content. It has huge windows all the way around. You have an amazing view of the whole city from wherever you are, including the toilet. ha. Let me show you around.

OK, of course the coolest is having this huge soaking jacuzzi. These are what they have in the korean saunas. You have one in your own room.

By the front door you put your key in to work all of the gadgets in the room. There are buttons everywhere. And when you are a tad obsessive compulsive like me, you have to push every one......multiple times. So fun!!

this was next to the bed. I think I need one these at home. Surely my kids will love to respond to my every need and whim. right. (for some reason the picture is showing enlarged and off center and i have no idea how to fix it)

the bathroom

nice view huh?

the shower that had a million shower heads that were so wonderful after being in my

shower which doesn't have the greatest pressure. It also was a steam room if you chose.

i love asian toilets. I have to have one when I move back to the states. I am obviously easily entertained because I loved spending a lot of time in there playing.

can you blame me with all of this to choose from. I am curious as to what the bottom, second from the right one means. A couple with their arms around each other?

Now that i have surveyed the room and played with all of the gadgets it is time to get down to some serious relaxing.

I'm jealous of myself just looking at this picture. ha

Isn't this so beautiful.

next, it is time to read. I had just gotten the last in the hunger game series. Talk about perfect timing right? It just doesn't get any better than that.

a good book and this.....

and this....

and this,

until the sun went down.

it was a good first day.

Breakfast, yum.

so much to choose from.

so peaceful.

After breakfast we went exploring around the resort. I couldn't get over how amazing every bathroom was wherever I went.

Every room a work of art.

For someone with a chair fetish, you can imagine my glee.

there were sitting rooms tucked around every corner and no one but us everywhere we

went. I wanted to cozy up in each one with a book for hours.

on every counter were cool things like this.

There really are three separate large buildings to the resort. One is the hotel that has the rooms and some different restaurants. Where we ate breakfast was across the way and also had the spa, gym, korean sauna, and indoor pool.

my spot.

We just went in to look at the pool (you have to remove your shoes wherever you go). When we came back there were our shoes neatly facing so that we can just step into them.

Where I ended up for the rest of the day.

We had all these big plans to cruise around seoul, but I just couldn't leave the resort, it was so awesome. I dragged myself away to go somewhere else for dinner. This was along the way walking from the resort to the subway station.

Dave lovesssss maps.

here i am waiting for the subway. Do you like my outfit? I just want to fit in.

ha ha. of course i am kidding. but they do love their short shorts and heels here.

We got down to Itaewon and it was hot and muggy, smoky, and crowded, and i said get me out of here. Take me back to my palace.

We came back and went to a restaurant that is in the third bldg. of the resort that overlooks the outdoor pool. We were the only ones there. It was a bit awkward for the jazz band, especially when their singer came out for a while. I felt so bad so I stayed a long time and always clapped. They were incredibly amazing. I really enjoyed it.

Luckily, someone else finally came to take the pressure off from feeling we need to make the band feel good and to give our waitress someone else to pour water for. She literally came and refilled after every few sips we took. We were laughing so hard. You don't even tip in Korea. That is one of my favorite things about Korea. Because I am a good tipper. It saves me a lot of money with how much we go out to eat, which is one of our favorite things to do.

Look at this dessert! My only complaint was that i had to share. smile.

they insisted that we be driven back to the main hotel bldg. We were laughing because it is so close, and we waved like royalty (literally) as we went. We were laughing, but no one else even cracked a smile.

It really is funny, because i love these luxury resorts, but we don't really fit in. Everyone is driving up in luxury cars and dressed so formally and expensively. We are usually in the cheapest smallest economy rental car, and wearing old shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops. I don't even own clothes like these other people wear. There is no where I would wear such finery (nor can i afford it. How could i when I am spending all my money to go to a resort like this. ha ha). I realized lately that I really don't even get out of my pajamas or robe unless I am going somewhere. I can't remember even once getting up and getting dressed and ready for the day first thing. Should I be doing that? I know my dad would say yes. It doesn't make sense if I am only going to clean house, and play with a slobbery, snotty nosed, pooping all the time baby boy. Comfort is priority you know.

I was just really glad that we didn't drive our van to this resort. It is really old, and really gross. But it is paid for!

One last night, and then back to reality. Good thing i love my reality. It is really fun and full of love. Just a bit demanding (just a bit).

I keep thinking to myself lately, I really have too many children. I really am not good at this. I really can't handle all of this well. But then I was watching good ol' "Lark rise to Candleford." In it the wife of a humble family was so worried and upset that she was pregnant with an unexpected sixth child. She was worried how they would feed, care for, and love another child. Her husbands response was so loving and kind, and a great reminder to me. He said that yes it is always a worry to provide physically for a child, but love? That is one thing he would never worry about. There is always enough love.

Yes, a good reminder. I may not be the perfect mom. I mess up a lot. But love, I have that. These kids are loved, and they know it. You know how I know that? By how they reach out and love others. They are so filled with love that they know they are of great worth, and that gives them the confidence to reach out to others with such love. It is a beautiful thing to see as a mother. To see them really love and care about others. That is so important in this world where people are becoming more and more self absorbed. Love is always the answer. So if number seven comes a long.........

No, I'm not pregnant, I'm just saying.

So that was a serious tangent.

In closing, isn't this place amazing?? These pictures don't even do it justice. There is so much that I didn't take pictures of. The spa alone, ahhhhhhhhh. So, don't you want to come to Korea so you can go to the Banyan tree? You know that really is my objective. I am trying my hardest to show you how wonderful Korea is so you will come and visit me!!!! I promise North Korea isn't that scary! smile.